“My soul longs, yes, even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.” (Psalm 84:2)
Exactly one month ago from tomorrow my wife and I left California to travel across the country and move to Georgia. In one month we both found jobs, I started school, bought a car, got a GA driver’s license, met some friends, started attending a new church and will even be playing in the worship band next week. It’s been an eventful and stressful month to say the least. What made it even more stressful is with all this change going on I found myself in the midst of a spiritual low. I longed for the comfort and peace of the presence of the Lord but could not find it. I prayed, “God I know you’ve answered me before and I know you hear me so please come and comfort me.”
“Why was this happening?” I asked. It felt as if God was not there. It’s not that I wasn’t praying or wasn’t reading the Bible, I was. It’s not that I wasn’t going to church or fellowshipping with other Christians, I was. I even talked to a few people for encouragement and they did encourage me, but there was only one who could get me out of this slump—Jesus! I needed the presence of the Lord! My soul longed for it! My heart and my flesh cried out for the living God! I went through about two weeks of this and it continuously got worse. My anxiety was at an all time peak and it got to the point where I basically had a panic attack. I wanted to give up but I took a deep breath and got through the night.
What happened next? Morning came with glory. I awoke in the presence of the Lord! It was an unmistakable presence. It was the love of God surrounding me. Like a father who had returned home from a business trip and was sitting, waiting for his son to wake up, God was there. I broke down and had to find a place to kneel in His presence and cry and talk with Him. It was exactly what I had been longing for and needed so badly. His peace was with me again. I was His and He was mine.
My wife and I had prophecy read over us a couple months ago and one of the things they said is that “the spirit of adoption” would come to have a new meaning and understanding to us. I was never an orphan so it is hard for me to think in a literal sense of what it would be like to get adopted into a family. I’m sure once it has happened the child is at first a bit skeptical. I’m sure that it takes them a while to really trust their new family and to fully understand that they are adopted. I believe this is what’s been going on with me and God. I understood that I was adopted into the family of God but it hadn’t sunken in all the way. It was still a “too good to be true” type of thing. I think that through this absence of the Lord’s presence I felt, and then His showing up exactly when I really needed Him was a lesson of trust. He is teaching me to walk by faith and to know that even if I don’t “feel” God that He is still there, and will show up when we need Him. God is always faithful. He is always there and He always loves you! Our feelings may change but His love never changes.
“For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, Abba, Father. The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.” (Romans 8:15-16)
So if you are new to the family of God then know that Jesus will never leave you. His love will never change for you and He will always be near! We won’t always understand what’s going on but if you place your trust in the Lord and walk by faith, then know that everything will be ok in the end.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Prov 3:5)
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
We are heaven bound in the family! If God is for us, who can be against us? No one!
-I Want To Believe In God [dot com]