New Wine of the Spirit – Post 1

Today I find myself in rehab.  My emotions are mixed – positive and negative.

Negative:  I feel guilt, like I messed up.  I feel disappointed in myself.  I feel upset that I have to leave my wife at home by herself.

Positive:  I am glad I have taken a drastic step towards sobriety.  I know I have a problem and ignoring it as I have does nothing.  I am ready for a change!

My problem frustrates me.  I wish I did not have it.  Part of me says, “You’re better than this.  You shouldn’t have to be here.”  But I know that is a lie.  I am not better than this, I have an addiction and I need to come to this realization.   Today I set my hope in God’s help.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. -2 Corinthians 12:9 

More mixed emotions: I find comfort in this verse and at the same time I find it unsettling.  I love the idea that His strength is perfect in my weakness but I find it hard to fully believe.  Who should I believe?  God’s word or my doubt?

Lord I believe, help my unbelief. -Mark 9:24

Today I choose to have faith!

I will simplify this verse and say, “God I believe you can help me and I want you to help me.  I accept your help.  I accept your grace.”

Abide in Me and I in you. -John 15:4

Yes Lord, I accept your commandment.  We will abide in each other and your perfect strength will overcome my weakness.  I believe you are with me now and thank you for your presence.

The best is yet to come!

 

**This is a journal entry previously written during my stay in an alcohol abuse treatment center.  I’ll be posting many more in the coming days.  All entries will be linked here.**

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10 thoughts on “New Wine of the Spirit – Post 1

  1. realmiks

    Keep on keeping on! Thanks for sharing. God’s love set me free from my addiction to porn that held me in bondage for 25plus years. There is hope and freedom for you my friend. Bless you and don’t give up!

    Reply
  2. Mel Wild

    Blessings to you brother. Thanks for sharing your testimony. God’s grace is truly amazing when we humble ourselves. That’s called healthy spirituality. May God continue to intoxicate you with His overwhelming love and fill you with all the fulness that fills Himself. 🙂

    Reply

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