But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. -Matthew 6:15
Yesterday in group we talked about resentments. It is said that resentment is the number one offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. I realized I hold a lot of resentment towards myself because of my past actions. I also realized I have some family related resentments of people not living up to the expectations I put in place for them.
The Holy Spirit led me to Matthew 6:15. I read it in a different light this time. I’ve known it’s important to forgive others to free ourselves but I also must forgive myself. Not forgiving myself when Jesus already has is futile. It’s actually bondage, and if I might say a sin of disobedience. Seeing ourselves as different than how the Father sees us is like locking ourselves up in prison and trying to hide the key somewhere in the cell. God wants us to live in freedom. It’s time to let the resentments go!
God grant me the power to forgive others and myself. Allow me to grasp the redeeming power of the cross and live in freedom as the new man which you have already told me I am.
**This is a journal entry previously written during my stay in an alcohol abuse treatment center. I’ll be posting many more in the coming days. All entries will be linked here.**