A big problem I’ve constantly had in my Christian walk is the need for understanding. As I’ve said many times, I am an analytical person. It is hard for me to commit to anything if I do not have a very good understanding of it. This naturally creates a problem for me in turning verses like Proverbs 3:5 into a reality.
“Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
But Lord, you made me an analytical person?
Recently I read through Leviticus and wow, there’s a whole lot I don’t understand in that book. More like there’s a whole lot that I question, “why is this even in the Bible?” Yes, I know it was a different culture. Yes, I know it needs to be read in context and yes I know we read the OT through the lense of the New Testament. But still I read sections and think, “That’s just not right.” I don’t need to get into specifics. I’m sure you’ve come across plenty of Bible bashers who joyfully go straight to certain passages of Leviticus to disprove God by making Him out to be some sort of immoral monster. Which leads back to my original question of “why is this even in the Bible?” Why did God allow things like this to be written knowing that it would cause many to speak out against Him in later cultures?
I became so distraught over this I put the Bible down for a while. I was angry because I didn’t understand. Many other issues bombarded at the same time. I ran into a nasty cocktail of spiritual, mental, emotional and financial trouble. I was in a lot of pain and I was angry. But something crept up through my anger; something that pushed passed my understanding—or lack thereof.
It was peace. His peace.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. –Philippians 4:6-7
The interesting thing—and probably an obvious truth to many—is that when I was angry and was not talking to God I was a total wreck. He allowed me to have my pout fest and then I finally gave in and made my requests known to God. I gave in and asked for help because I certainly wasn’t going to figure it all out on my own. And what do ya know? Just like scripture says, as I started asking, peace started reigning.
So today I sit and rest in His peace. I trust the Lord and take a hard lesson learned to lean not on my own understanding. There’s many things I don’t understand in this world, but there’s one thing I do:
God is good.